You Can't Remember Names? Want to Know Why?

 How many times have you fobbed off forgetting a name with the excuse, "Oh, I've got such a poor memory. I have a terrible time with names."

It's pretty pathetic, actually-- as if you had no control over your ability to remember names. But if you'd like to start remembering names and quit using lame excuses, you can start by taking responsibility for yourself. Find out the real reasons you forget-it's probably not poor memory at all. See if the items below apply to you.

Assess Your Attitude. If tell everyone you can't remember a name after ten minutes, guess what you'll do? You'll forget names after ten minutes. It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you want to start remembering faces and names, you'll have to toss out your handy crutch of "poor memory." Start selling yourself as one of those people who remembers, instead.

So, quit the excuses. No more "I'm terrible with names," or "I've got a poor short-term memory." Giving up excuses, of course, is a risk, since you'll have to take responsibility if you do forget. But think about this. Many people read your excuses differently. They may see you as actually emphasizing your unprofessional behaviour, or habitual rudeness.

Not Paying Attention. If you continually forget names and faces, it may have nothing to do with your memory at all. It's often about paying attention. You're just not focussing your attention on the person you've met. Your focus is on yourself, rather than on them-in fact you're having an inner conversation with yourself. Its things like, "Oops, did I remember to turn off the stove before I left for work?" Or, "Is this outfit too tight? How do I look?" Or, "Did the boss read my report yet?" No wonder you can't remember their name. You haven't even registered the name, let alone stored it in your memory.

The solution? When you meet somebody, take a deep breath and let your worries go. Concentrate completely on this new person so that you can retain information about their name. Focus completely on this new acquaintance.

Drowning in Data. Sometimes it's not your fault when you forget names. It's because you were faced with too much data at one time. Say you are introduced to a special task force with six members. You smile, shake hands, and promptly forget all their names. Don't panic. Rescue yourself by taking the group leader aside a bit later. Ask her to run over the members' names and faces one more time. If you concentrate on this review, it's more likely that you'll remember the names next time you meet.
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